One Tenth Extra

They say the candle

that burns on both ends

leaves you nothing safely to hold onto and

eventually you get burned.

While burnt, I still feel,

I feel,

I feel I already gave,

Feel I gave a full measure.

For us and between us.

I fill;

I filled you up,

Filled up to one tenth near

the

top.

Too worried your glass would overflow.

But you needed more

More to the edge I poured,

Poured sweat from fumes.

Out of gas, hollowed out,

I push.

I pushed my limits so much so

I lost sight of the prize,

Or the who

Or the whys.

Why was I here?

Yet what I hear are the stats,

Relationships may not last but oh maybe one in ten did.

And I found myself the one unattended.

I fell.

I fell short.

Wanting to scale up

Not fall back.

I doubt, “Do I have any more to give?”

I double down, “Yes, a fraction more!”

Damn how I sized it up wrong,

Not seeing the edge clearly,

Energy pulled out from under me,

Lost grip on who I was,

What gave me joy.

Seeking myself in my own reflection,

Not recognizing me in my own eyes,

Only seeing you.

My stare finds only despair.

My faith is a wraith.

I need a break, in the middle.

Burn separately.

Feel and fuel your flame less.

Me, more.

Until I light my own path.

Fill my own cup.

Add to the brim of my self-poured glass.

Your one tenth extra is one tenth too much